Have you heard about attachment styles? These are part of something called “Attachment Theory,” which is a psychological concept that illustrates how we relate to each other, think, and behave. It is based on the idea that our formative experiences affect our worldview and relationships. 

In Attachment Theory, there are four main attachment styles:

• Secure
• Avoidant
• Ambivalent
• Disordered

Our early experiences with caregivers and each relationship we subsequently have can affect our attachment style. In the best-case scenario, we develop securely attached and remain that way, free from ‘attachment injury, which is when something happens in our relationships that alters our general worldview.

So we know that it is ideal to be securely attached, but how do you know what secure attachment looks like?

5 signs of secure attachment.

You openly express your needs and desires, and you don’t expect others to read your mind.

You express how you feel about your partner.

You display a genuine curiosity about your partner’s life, goals, dreams, and who they are.

You are consistent with your communication.

You can discuss past relationships with care and consideration of lessons learned.

If your style is more avoidant, ambivalent, or disordered, you may have a few challenges to work through before you can fully securely connect with your partner.

The good news is that despite our natural attachment style, we can learn to think and behave in more secure ways.

If you’d like to learn to be more securely attached and have happier and more fulfilling relationships, please check out my website for more information about my services and to get advice from my blogs.