Do you remember your wedding day? I clearly remember mine. There were around 300 guests, white flowers everywhere and a saxophone player in church, so romantic. It was an evening wedding, with only candlelight in the church. It was so beautiful.
Never would I had dreamt that my marriage would be like everybody else’s. One morning, I’ve realized that we are not that happy couple anymore. All the laughs and fun had ended up in sadness and tears.
We’ve worked hard on getting our happy, fun, loving marriage back. Today we are married for more than 26 years.
I will share some of my “pearls of wisdom” that I’ve learned through the years, so that you can have what I have.
- Don’t expect your partner to make you happy. If you rely on your spouse to make you happy, it can lead to an over-dependent relationship where you are not growing as an individual. We should be secure, mature, and whole in ourselves while being open to the other person. So make sure you nurture your interests and desires — anything that makes you happy. Spend time with your friends, take up a new hobby – instead of waiting for your spouse to fill in the void.
- Have fun together. While it’s important not to depend on your partner to maintain a happy marriage, it’s also necessary to share common experiences. New activities and interests can strengthen the relationship and will help couples to evolve together. These experiences will enrich their relationship.
- Even happy couples argue. All relationships have their ups and downs, and even happy couples do argue. But when they do, happy couples listen to each other’s point of view, recognize when the argument is going off the rails, and make the necessary repairs. If you and your spouse sometimes argue or are going through a rough patch, this does not necessarily mean you are in an unhappy marriage. It probably means you’re normal.
- Be kind to one another. This is probably the most important tip of them all. Ask yourself what you will do for your best friend. Or what had you done for your husband when you just got married. Kindness will take you a long way. Nobody can resist kindness. In fact, you want to return “kindness” to the person who gives it to you, right? If there is only one thing you can start doing today to change your marriage into a happy one, it is kindness.
- Laugh and be silly. Couples in happy marriages have an ease around each other. Whether it’s through little inside jokes, a silly unexpected text, or even just watching your favourite comedy together, connecting with your spouse with laughter can increase your bond. Let your hair loose and be silly. A couple that laughs together stays together. It is really not that difficult to be in a happy marriage. Start following these tips, and you will see.