To feel loved and connected to our significant other is what we all want, right?
Every romantic relationship has its ups and downs, and they all require effort, devotion, a desire to evolve and adapt alongside your spouse. But, whether you just started dating or have been together for years, there are steps you can take to establish a healthy relationship. There are ways to stay connected, find fulfilment, and enjoy long-term happiness, even if you’ve had several failed relationships in the past or struggled to reignite the passion in your current relationship.
Falling in love seems to be a common aspect of life for the most part. Staying in love—or keeping the experience of “falling in love” alive—requires commitment and hard work. However, considering the benefits, it is well worth the effort.
In both good and bad times, a healthy, stable romantic connection can be a constant source of guidance and happiness as well as support all areas of your well-being. By making an effort today to maintain or revive your falling in love experience, you can build a meaningful connection that lasts—even for a lifetime.
So many couples only pay attention to their relationship when facing certain unavoidable obstacles. Once the issues are settled, they usually focus on their career, children, or other interests. However, romantic relationships need constant attention and dedication to develop. If your romantic relationship is important to you, it will demand your attention and work. Recognizing and addressing minor issues in your relationship early on may often help you avoid becoming a much bigger one later.
The following suggestions will help keep your romantic relationship healthy and maintain that “falling in love” experience.
Here are some tips to help you establish and maintain a healthy, happy, and rewarding romantic relationship.
Tip 1: Spend quality face-to-face time.
In the beginning, you had spent time together, and you had listened to each other. That is how you had fallen in love. If you continue to observe and listen with the same intensity, you may keep the feeling of falling in love for the rest of your life.
You probably remember your first dates with your lover fondly. You probably had spent hours chatting about or thinking about new and fascinating things to try. However, as time goes by, the duties of a job, kids, other responsibilities, and our collective yearning for alone time can make finding time together increasingly tricky.
Start immediately to spending quality time with your partner regularly. Take a few minutes each day, no matter how busy you are, to put down your technological devices and truly focus on and connect with your partner.
Find something you both like doing together, whether it’s a mutual hobby, a dancing class, a daily stroll, or a morning cup of coffee.
Concentrate on having a wonderful time together. Relationships are often lighter and more enjoyable in the early stages of a relationship. However, when life’s challenges come in the way or old resentments begin to pile up, this lighthearted approach might be lost. A sense of humour can help you get through difficult situations, minimize stress, and solve issues faster. Consider surprising your partner in clever ways, such as bringing flowers home or scheduling a table at their favourite restaurant on occasion. Playing with kids or pets can also help you find your fun side.
Tip 2: Stay connected through communication
Effective communication is essential for a happy relationship. You feel comfortable and content when you have a positive emotional connection with your partner. Unfortunately, people stop relating when they stop communicating well, and times of change or stress can increase the distance. Nevertheless, communication is critical in solving whatever problems you’re having.
Don’t rely on your partner to determine your needs and wants. It’s not always easy to voice what your needs are. For one thing, many of us don’t spend enough time thinking about what we value most in a relationship. Even if you know what you require, discussing it can make you feel exposed, humiliated, or even ashamed. But consider it from your partner’s perspective. Providing soothing comfort and understanding to someone you care about is not a chore, it is a pleasure.
Take note of your partner’s nonverbal cues. A lot of our communication is sent by what we don’t say. Your eye contact, tone of voice, posture, and gestures such as leaning forward, crossing arms, or stroking someone’s hand convey significantly more than the words you say.
You will understand more how your partner feels and responds if you can pick up on their nonverbal cues or body language. A successful relationship can benefit from being aware of their own and partner’s nonverbal clues. This is because your partner’s reactions may differ from your own. For example, one individual may find a hug after a difficult day to be a loving way of communication, whereas another may prefer to go for a stroll or sit and talk.
You feel loved and happy when your spouse sends positive emotional cues, and your partner feels the same when you provide positive emotional cues. Conversely, when you stop caring about your own or your partner’s feelings, your relationship suffers, and your communication capacity suffers, especially during difficult times.
Be a good listener. Learning to listen in a way that makes your partner feels appreciated and understood can help you develop a deeper, stronger bond.
There’s a tremendous difference between this listening and just hearing. You’ll notice minor intonations in your partner’s voice that tell you how they’re feeling and the emotions they’re attempting to convey if you listen—when you’re engaged with what’s being said. Of course, being a good listener does not indicate that you agree with your partner’s thinking. However, it will help you identify shared points of view that will aid in the resolution of conflict.
Tip 3: Maintain physical intimacy
Touch is a fundamental part of human nature. Studies on babies have revealed the need for frequent, emotional engagement for brain development. The benefits don’t end when you’re an adult, though.
Affectionate contact raises your oxytocin levels in your body, a hormone that affects attachment and bonding.
While sex is often a key component of committed partnerships, it should not be the primary source of physical intimacy. Instead, a soft touch that is frequent and affectionate, like holding hands, embracing and kissing, is also essential.
Of course, it’s important to be aware of your partner’s preferences. For example, unwanted touching or inappropriate approaches can make the other person tense up and withdraw, opposite what you want. This, like so many different facets of a successful relationship, might come down to how well you and your partner express your needs and intentions.
Even if you have a hectic schedule or small children, establish regular couple time, like a date night, or you can sit at the end of a long day and talk and hold hands. That can help keep physical intimacy alive.
Tip 4: Learn to give and take in your relationship
If you expect to get everything you want in a relationship 100 percent of the time, you’re setting yourself up for disappointment. A healthy partnership is built on compromise. However, ensuring a fair transaction requires work on the part of each person.
Recognize what’s important to your partner. Knowing what your partner values most can go a long way toward fostering respect and an atmosphere of compromise. On the other hand, it’s vital that your partner knows your desires and that you communicate them clearly. Constantly putting others’ needs and wants ahead of your own can also lead to resentment and hatred, so make sure you balance it out.
Don’t make “winning” your goal. It will be challenging to find a win-win situation if you approach your partner with a “my way or the highway” mindset. This attitude can come from a lack of satisfying needs when you were younger or from years of resentment in the relationship reaching a boiling point. Excitement and passion about something your feel strong about is OK, but remember your partner wants to be heard as well. Respect and honour the other person and their point of view.
Learn how to resolve conflict respectfully. Conflict is inevitable in any relationship, but both partners must feel heard for the partnership to remain strong. The goal is to maintain and build the relationship rather than to win.
- Make sure you’re fighting on an even playing field. Keep your attention on the problem at hand and show respect for the other person. Don’t get into a fight over something you can’t change.
- Don’t attack someone directly. Instead, use “I” expressions to express your feelings. For example, instead of stating, “You make me feel horrible,” try saying, “I feel bad when you do that.”
- Don’t bring up previous arguments in the discussion. Rather than assigning blame for past disagreements or grudges, concentrate on what you can do right now to resolve the situation.
- Be willing to forgive. If you’re reluctant or unable to forgive people, it’s impossible to resolve a problem.
- Take a break if tempers start to rise. Before you say or do something you’ll regret, take a few minutes to reduce stress and calm down. Always keep in mind that you’re arguing with someone you care about.
- Recognize when it’s time to let things go. Agree to disagree if you can’t agree. An argument requires two people to keep going. You can choose to “agree to disagree” and move on if a conflict situation isn’t going anywhere.
Tip 5: Be prepared for the ups and downs of life
Every relationship has its ups and downs, which couples must acknowledge. You won’t always agree on everything or always be happy. Sometimes one of the partners is dealing with a stressful situation, such as the death of a close family member. Other circumstances, such as job loss or severe health issues, can impact both partners and make it harder to relate to one another. You may have different ideas about managing your finances or raising your children.
Various people deal with stress differently, and miscommunications can quickly escalate into annoyance and fury.
Don’t blame your partner for your problems. We may get irritated as a result of our anxieties in life. When you’re stressed out, it may feel easier to vent to your spouse or even safer to snap at them. Fighting in this manner may feel nice at first, but it will gradually deteriorate your relationship. There are also healthy methods to deal with stress, anger, and frustration.
Attempting to push a solution can result in even more issues. Every individual uniquely approaches difficulties and problems. Keep in mind that you are part of a group. Keeping moving forward together can help you get through difficult times.
Take a look back at the beginning of your relationship. Discuss the events that brought you together, the point at which you began to drift apart, and how you can work together to recapture that feeling of falling in love.
Be adaptive and adaptable. Change is inescapable in life, and you can choose to accept it or resist it. It would help if you practised flexibility to adapt to the continual change in any relationship and grow together in both good and challenging times.
If you need outside help for your relationship, reach out together. Problems in a relationship may appear too complicated or overwhelming to handle as a couple at times. Couples counselling or talking with a trustworthy friend or religious figure together can help.
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